Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What is a Yankee?

 What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

                                Juan on Juan

                             What is a Yankee?

             The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

           What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

                        The position of the dirt bag

                        Why is divorce so expensive?

                           Because it's worth it.

          What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?


                         Why is air a lot like sex?

          Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

                      What do you call a smart blonde?

                            A golden retriever.

                  What do attorneys use for birth control?

                            Their personalities.

            What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

                            10 years and 45 lbs

           What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

                                 45 minutes

                  What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

                   Through his chest with a sharp knife.

                     Why do men want to marry virgins?

                         They can't stand criticism

  Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and

                 Because those men already have boyfriends.

         What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

             After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

       What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

     The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of

              Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

                      Because they have cotton balls.

             What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

                 A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

        What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

                         'Are you sure it's mine?'

                    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

                         Mace will do that to you.

             Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

                         Everyone has the same DNA.

             Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

                          Breasts don't have eyes.

  Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
                      Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

         Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

                 Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

                              A different bar.

        Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?

                      They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

                              They're hiring.

      What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

  A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
                         along with... 'a recipe'.

     How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

         Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

     What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern

   A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time .' -A southern fairytale

                  'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit....

                    Why is there no Disneyland in China?

                No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

1 comment:

I would just love to hear whatcha think? good or bad. And as usual if you have a joke or something funny you would like me to post here I would love to do so. Just let me know if you would like me to link back to you or if I can use your name. All links are welcomed.

Why Not?

BC slots

Thanks guys! Do I hear 55?