Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Children's Science Exam

 Subject: Fwd: Fw: Children's Science Exam   

If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers....

 Q: Name the four seasons.
 A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
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 Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
 A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
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 Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
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 Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!)
 A: Keep it in the cow.
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 Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
 A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
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 Q: What are steroids?
 A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
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 Q: What happens to your body as you age?
 A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
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 Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (This kid gets an A+ for this answer!)
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 Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
 A: Premature death.
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 Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (i.e. abdomen)
 A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
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 Q: What is the fibula?
 A: A small lie.
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 Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
 A: Nearby.
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