Monday, March 8, 2010

Hell explained

following is an actual question given on a  University
 of Arizona  chemistry mid term, and an actual
answer turned in by a

answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor
shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? 

of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some

student, however, wrote the
we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time..
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is
unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's
look at the different religions that exist in the world

of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go
to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for
the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are

gives two possibilities: 

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
will increase until all Hell breaks
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.  
which is it? 
we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept
with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more
souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my

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Thanks guys! Do I hear 55?