I have been told that there were good reasons to walk. Now I know.
1. Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you
at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
2. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was
60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell he is.
3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by
people who annoy me.
4. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I
could hear heavy breathing again.
5. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain
figures out what I'm doing.
6. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400
bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to visit the club.
7. Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with
8. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately, my stomach
9. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you
die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
10. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start
with a small country.
11. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,
just getting over the hill.
12. You could run this over to your friends but why not
just e-mail it to them!
13. We all get heavier as we get older, because
there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it,
AND every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I
just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.