Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Before Speaking

Here are six reasons why you should think
  before you speak -the last one is great! 
  Have you ever spoken and wished that 
  you could immediately take the words back... 
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

  I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three 
  kids in tow and asked loudly, 
  'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' 
  I turned around and walked back out and never went back 
  My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
  I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. 
  I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. 
  After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by 
  one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. 
  He asked if he could help me. 
  Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 
  'I think I like playing with men's balls' 
  My sister and I were at the mall and 
  passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. 
  As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind 
  the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, ' 
  No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' 
  My sister started to laugh hysterically. 
  The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. 
  To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
  While in line at the bank one afternoon, 
  my toddler decided to release 
  some pent-up energy and ran amok. 
  I was finally able to grab hold of 
  her after receiving looks of disgust 
  and annoyance from other patrons. 
  I told her that if she did not start behaving 
  'right now' she would be punished. 
  To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said  
  in a voice just as threatening, 
  'If you don't let me go right now, 
  I will tell Grandma that I saw you 
  kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' 
  The silence was deafening after this enlightening 
  exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. 
  I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked 
  out of the bank with my daughter in tow. 
  The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of 
  Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? 
  My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training 
  and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell 
  for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, 
  with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, 
  I smelled something funny, so of course I checked 
  my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.   
  The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty 
  in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, 
  and he said 'No' .. I kept thinking  
 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and 
  I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 
  'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 
  'No,' he replied. 
  I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, 
  because the smell was getting worse. 
  Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ?
  This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, 
  bent over, spread his cheeks 
  and yelled  
Now, didn't that feel good?
  While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, 
  he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. 
  An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the 
  best laugh they'd ever had! 
  This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days 
  and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, 
  in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens 
  when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a 
  female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed 
  to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman 
  and asked: 
  'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you 
  promised me last night?' 
  Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew 
  did too they were laughing so hard! 
  Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh 
 and remember 
  we all say things we don't really mean, 
  so think before you speak!!!
  "Good friends are like stars..You don't always see them, 
  but you know they are always there.
It's a bit ironic how this ends. Sent to me from perhaps my very oldest friend, I myself have had a horrible week. Worst on in a long time, so I was pleasantly pleased to receive this today because after all everyone including myself needs "a daily laugh"

1 comment:

  1. I posted a comment here yesterday. Did I hit the wrong button again. I'm too old to remember what the comment was. I'll bet it was great though ... they always are.


I would just love to hear whatcha think? good or bad. And as usual if you have a joke or something funny you would like me to post here I would love to do so. Just let me know if you would like me to link back to you or if I can use your name. All links are welcomed.

Why Not?

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Thanks guys! Do I hear 55?