Smart ass old rancher

Hysterical!!  Gotta love an smart ass old rancher!

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."  Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.  "See this badge?  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.  No questions asked or answers given.  Have I made myself clear?  Do you understand? "
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

  With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.
The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

 " Your badge! Show him your BADGE ! "

Greener Grass

Greener Grass... Its important in life to reach out, to strive for greater achievements, to go for that greener grass that is on the other side of the fence ........ But one must also be careful

Sometimes you can reach too far !

But when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember.......
Not everyone who shows up, is there to help you!!!!

A farmer and a cop

A Missouri Sheriff stops at a ranch in rural MO and talks with an old
 farmer.


 He tells the farmer, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown
 drugs.'

 The old farmer says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.'

 The Sheriff verbally explodes saying,

 'Mister, I have the authority of the Sheriff's Department with me.'
 Reaching
 into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge, the officer proudly
 displays it to the farmer.

 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever
 I wish...on any land. No questions asked or answers given.

 Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'

 The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores.

 Later, the farmer hears loud screams and spies the Sheriff running for
 his life and close behind is the farmer's bull. With every step the bull is
 gaining ground on the officer. The Sheriff is clearly terrified.

 The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence
 and yells at the top of his lungs.....

 'Your badge! Show him your badge!