Pet Fish

 This is one of the funniest I have heard in a long time, or perhaps I really needed the laugh. Either way i think you will enjoy!

Allison

Pet Fish


A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin ' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, ' Do you have a license to catch those fish? '

' Naw, sir ' , replied the redneck. ' I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish. '

' Pet fish? '

' Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let ' em swim ' round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take ' em home. '

' That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that. '

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, ' It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works. '

' O. K.. ' , said the warden. ' I've got to see this! '

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the warden says, ' Well? '

' Well, what? ' , says the redneck.

The warden says, ' When are you going to call them back? '

' Call who back? '

' The FISH ' , replied the warden!

' What fish? ' , replied the redneck.


Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

Never argue with a Woman

Never argue with a Woman
                      
One morning, the   husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

 Although   not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.  She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, And begins to read her book.  The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.  He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'  

'Reading a   book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing.. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.
  I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do   that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

 MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.  It's likely she can also think..