An Atheist and a Marine

If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!

A United States Marine was taking some college courses

between assignments. He had completed 20 missions in Iraq

 and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor  who

was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.

He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then

I want you to knock me off this platform... I'll give you exactly 15 min."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes

went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."

 

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got

out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him;

knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

 

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there

looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to,

noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked,

 "What in the world is the matter with you?  Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied,

"GOD was too busy protecting America 's

soldiers who are protecting your right to make stupid

remarks and act like an idiot. So He sent me."

 

The classroom erupted in cheers!

Post Office job

Post Office job

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.  The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine."

"Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says.  "I was in Iraq for two years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."  Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don't you want me to be here until 10:00 A.M.?"

"This is a government job," the inter-viewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."