DON'T HIRE POOKIE

I know that everyone  needs a job, but there are some places where
yo' cuzins'  should not be allowed to work.

There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care Unit where patients  always
died in the same bed on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m.  regardless of their
medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some  even thought that had
something to do with the  supernatural.


No one could  solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11a.m.
on  Sundays. So a world wide team of experts were assembled to investigate  the
cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday  morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m. all the doctors and
nurses  nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible
phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer  books,
and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just  when the clock struck 11.....Pookie Johnson, the part time Sunday
sweeper entered the ward and unplugged the life support system, so that  he
could plug in the vacuum cleaner...

AND THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA  SAY....

I hate my job

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'

=0 A
Try this out:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section   and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins .

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully . You will notice that in small print there  is a statement:



' Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson &Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized . '

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, '  I am so glad I do not work  in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson .'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOME ONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

.........Remember,
if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart;
Maybe you should go and work for Johnson & Johnson!!!!!

 

Questions and Answers from an AARP Retired Persons Forum:

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt '

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.20

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
&n bsp;A: 'Gosh, I remember these.'