PMS

Today I received a email signed anonymous with this pictures in it. I just love them! I hope you enjoy them too. And to anonymous I just want to thank you so much for sending it, but I am curious on why your mother named you anonymous! :)

Fishing

A guy is 75 years young and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,

'Pick me up.'
...
He looked around and couldn't see anyone.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,

'Pick me up.'

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you.'

Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.

I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!'

The man looked at the frog for a short time,

reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.'

Jack Daniels Fishing Story

Jack Daniels Fishing Story 

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.    Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bitten. So I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.  A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

Life is good in the South.

Once upon a time

Once upon a time
in a far away land

a beautiful independent,
self assured princess

happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: "Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me."

One kiss from you however
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that O am

and then, my sweet, we can marry

and set up housekeeping in your castle

with my mother,

where you can prepare my meals,

clean my clothes, bear my children,

and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so."

That night,

as the princess dined sumptuously

on lightly sauteed frog legs

seasoned in a white wine sauce,

she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't FUCKIN' think so!!!!