All girl biker bar

n old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,
Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight
lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.
Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Naked Cowboy

A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'

The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ...

Cowboy at Starbucks

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’

He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.’

A cowboy

                                               
 A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.

 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.

 I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
 So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face ...

 Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.

 I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the sh*t out of all of you!'

 St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

 'Just a couple of minutes ago...'

God created the dog

God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.

For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

The Cowboy Whisperer

Cowboy: 'That your dog?'

 Indian: 'Yep.'

 Cowboy: 'Mind if I speak to him?'

 Indian: 'Dog no talk.'

 Cowboy: 'Hey dog, how's it going?'

 Dog: 'Doin' all right.'

 Indian: (Look of shock!)

 Cowboy: 'Is this Indian your owner?'

 Dog: 'Yep.'

 Cowboy: 'How's he treating you?'

 Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food & takes

 me to the lake once a week to play.'

 Indian: (Look of total disbelief)

 Cowboy: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

 Indian: 'Horse no talk.'

 Cowboy: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

 Horse: 'Cool.'

 Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)

 Cowboy: 'Is this your owner?'

 Horse: 'Yep.'

 Cowboy: 'How's he treating you?'

 Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down

 often & keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather.'

 Indian: (Look of total amazement)

 Cowboy: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

 Indian: 'Sheep Lie.'