They USED to call him names

The luckiest guy in the world

The Luckiest guy in the world!

Marvin the male Maxine

 

Senior Health Care

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Blame Bill Gates

How the world works lately...  If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work,  He blames the restaurant.  If you smoke three packs a day  For 40 years and die of lung cancer,  Your family blames the Tobacco company.  If your neighbor crashes  Into a tree while driving home drunk, He blames the bartender.  If your grandchildren are  Brats without manners, You blame television.  If your friend is shot by a  Deranged madman, You blame the gun manufacturer...  And if a crazed person breaks  Into the cockpit and Tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, And the passengers Kill him instead, The mother of the crazed deceased Blames the airline.  I must have lived too long to Understand the world As it is anymore.  So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED ASS is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to Blame Bill Gates.

True Story

TRUE STORY FROM .... "THE HOUSTON HERALD NEWSPAPER" 

IN HOUSTON, TEXAS MARCH 5th, 2009 

Last Thursday Night Around Midnight, 
A Woman >From Houston , Texas Was Arrested, 

Jailed, And Charged With Manslaughter 
For Shooting A Man 6 Times In The Back 
As He Was Running Away With Her Purse. 
 
The Following Monday Morning, 
The Woman Was Called In Front Of The 
Arraignment Judge, Sworn In, 
And Asked To Explain Her Actions. 

The Woman Replied, 
"I Was Standing At The Corner Bus Stop 
For About 15 Minutes, Waiting For The 
Bus To Take Me Home After Work.. 
I Am A Waitress At A Local Cafe.... 

I Was There Alone, 
So I Had My Right Hand On My Pistol, 
That Was In My Purse, That Was Hung 
Over My Left Shoulder. 

All Of A Sudden I Was Being 
Spun Around Hard To My Left. 
As I Caught My Balance, I Saw A Man 

Running Away From Me With My Purse. 

I Looked Down At My Right Hand And I Saw 
That My Fingers Were Wrapped Tightly 
Around My Pistol. 
The Next Thing I Remember Is Saying Out Loud, 
" No Way Punk! You're Not Stealing My 
Pay Check And Tips." 

I Raised My Right Hand, Pointed My Pistol 
At The Man Running Away From Me With My Purse, 
And Squeezed The Trigger Of My Pistol 6 Times! 
 
When Asked By The Arraignment Judge, 
"Why Did You Shoot The Man 6 Times? 

The Woman Replied Under Oath, 
"Because, When I Pulled The Trigger The 7th Time, It Only Went Click." 

The Woman Was Acquitted Of All Charges. 
And She Was Back At Work, 

At The Cafe, The Next Day!  

Now that's Gun Control....

BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER

 

BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!'





General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

Gun Control

Doctors vs Gun owners




(A)   The number of physicians in the U.S. is


700,000.

(B)   Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
 
per year are   120,000.
 
(C)   Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
 
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of 
Health and Human Services. 

Now think about this:


Guns


(A)   The number of gun owners in the U.S.   
 
is 80,000,000.  
(Yes, that's 80 million)


 
(B)   The number of accidental gun deaths 
per year, all age groups, is 
1,500. 



(C)   The number of accidental deaths 
per gun owner is   
.000188.




Statistics courtesy of FBI




 
So, statistically, doctors are approximately

9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.






Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do..'




 




 


FACT:   NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT    
ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.


Please alert your friends  
to this 
alarming threat.


We must ban doctors 
before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

 

Out of concern for the public at large, 
I withheld the statistics on 
  lawyers




for fear the shock would cause 

people to panic and seek medical attention!