LORD,... THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER

Judy got married and had 13 children.
Her first husband,Ted, died of cancer.

She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children.

Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Judy *again*, remarried,.... and this time, she & John  had 5 more children.

Judy finally died, after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.

He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,
"Lord, they are finally together."

Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret:

 

"Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"

Margaret replied:....

"I think he means her legs, Ethel...."

Beep, beep, beep

A mother took her five-year-old son with her  
To the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a
Business suit complete with pager.

As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly,
'Gee, she's fat!'
The mother bent down and whispered in
The little boys ear to be quiet.
A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread
His hands as far as they would go and announced;

'I'll bet her butt is this wide!'

The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy.
The mother gave him a good telling off,
And told him to be quiet.
After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line.
Just then, her pager began to emit a

Beep, beep, beep

The little boy yells out,

'Run  for your life, she's backing up!!

The Fat lady

A mother took her five-year-old son with her
To the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a
Business suit complete with pager.

As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly,
'Gee, she's fat!'
The mother bent down and whispered in
The little boys ear to be quiet.
A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread
His hands as far as they would go and announced;

'I'll bet her butt is this wide!'

The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy.
The mother gave him a good telling off,
And told him to be quiet.
After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line.
Just then, her pager began to emit a

Beep, beep, beep

The little boy yells out,

'Run  for your life, she's backing up!!

And the fascination lives on

Tinkle

 

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son. All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in? Tears.? 'What's wrong?' asked the mother. 'I was taking a tinkle and this bullet Came out,' replied the daughter The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago? About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. 'Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out.'? Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago? A week later her son walked into the room in tears. 'It's okay' said the Mom, 'I know what happened You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out.' 'No,' said the boy, 'I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.' I KNOW YOU SMILED

Adult Humor

A little boy walks into his parent's room to see his mom on top of his
dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts,
worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to
find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"

The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad as a big tummy and sometimes
I have to get on top and help flatten it."

"You're wasting your time," said the boy.

"Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled.

"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her
knees and blows it right back up."