Life becomes more practical for old guys

  Life becomes more practical for old guys

 A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course and heads into the grill room. As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar :
 COLD BEER: $2.00
 HAMBURGER: $2.25
 CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
 CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
 HAND JOB: $50.00
 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers. She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer..
 "Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?"
 The old golfer leans over the bar, "I was wondering, young lady," he whispers, "Are you the one who gives the hand-jobs? "
 She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs:
 "Yes Sir , I sure am "
 The old golfer leans closer and whispers softly into her left ear, "Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger."

Truckers Breakfast

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, 'I
 want
 three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'


 The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the
 kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered three flat
 tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards...... What does he
 think this place is, an auto parts store?'


 'No,' the cook said. 'Three flat tires ... Mean three pancakes; a pair of
> headlights.. Is two eggs sunny side up;  and a pair of running boards...
 are
 2 slices of crisp bacon !

 'Oh,... OK!' said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then
 spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

 The trucker asked, 'What are the beans for Blondie?'



 I LOVE THIS ONE.......... .


 'She replied, 'I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires,
 headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!


 FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!!!!!