Wal-Mart Applicant revealed

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Another great e-mail from a male friend. Allison

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

 Your last name stays put.

 The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

 You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

 Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.  

Same work, more pay.

 Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time. 

 Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 

 If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

 Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.  Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Send this to the women who can handle it   and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

 

It is not how old you are, but how you are old.. -Jules Renard, writer (1864-1910)

President O

Here is some of the change promised by President  O.

I don't care what political party you belong to but I ask can you imagine Barbara or Laura Bush ever appearing in public dressed this Way.

 

Ya'll wanted CHANGE....  Well here it is....

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the
 seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, ...formerly
 known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
Mexifornia's third language

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by
Lichtenstein.  No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be
imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned
all smoking..

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89
and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only..

85-year $75.8 billion study concludes: Diet and exercise is the key
to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third
consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast
 shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth
 shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every  Middle and High School in
United States

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWAR even though gas is
selling for 4,532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only
open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

 Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their
civil rights.


Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven
inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers,

fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be
registered by January 2030. 

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. 

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you
 want; then, guess what...NOTHING will happen. No miracles,
 no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone
 smile or be very very scared.

I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares
 Me!

Square Testicles

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of  Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted
on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a
lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right)
an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit.
She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'.
The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to
save so much money.
The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'

The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I'll bet you $25,000 that your
testicles are square.'

The president started to laugh and told the woman that
it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye.
She just looked at the president and said, '
Would you like to take my bet?'