Math Problem

Math Problem

A little boy was doing his Math homework. He said to himself, Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...

His mother heard what he was saying and gasp, What are you doing ?

The little boy answered, I'm doing my math homework, Mom.

And this is how your teacher taught you to do it ?

Yes, he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, What are you teaching my son in math ?

The teacher replied, Right now, we are learning addition.

The mother asked, and are you teaching them to say two plus two that son of a bitch is four ?

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.

DEMENTIA QUIZ

DEMENTIA QUIZ
     
    
   FIRST QUESTION:

YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE
THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN? 



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ANSWER:  IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE
SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!

TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION,
BUT DON'T TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION, OK? 
 

SECOND QUESTION:
IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE....?(SCROLL DOWN) 



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ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU  ARE..... 
  WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??

YOU'RE  NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU? 


THIRD QUESTION:
VERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC! NOTE:
THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.
DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR.
TRY IT.



TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30.
ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000.
NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL? 


SCROLL DOWN FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER..... 



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DID YOU GET 5000?
THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100...

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT, CHECK IT WITH A CALCULATOR!
TODAY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAY, IS IT?  

MAYBE YOU'LL GET THE LAST QUESTION RIGHT...  MAYBE... 


FOURTH QUESTION: 

MARY'S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS:

1. NANA,

2. NENE, 3. NINI,   4. NONO, AND ???
·  WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?

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DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN'T.
HER NAME IS MARY! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN!






OKAY, NOW THE BONUS ROUND, 
I.E., A FINAL CHANCE TO
REDEEM YOURSELF:




A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH.
BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE
SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS DONE. 
NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A
PAIR OF SUNGLASSES; HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?



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IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE 
HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT...DOES YOUR EMPLOYER ACTUALLY PAY YOU TO THINK??
IF SO DO NOT LET THEM SEE YOUR ANSWERS FOR THIS TEST!


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PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE 
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
HAVE A NICE DAY, ONE AND ALL.

Math

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. 
His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors,
flash cards, special learning centers.
In short, everything they could think of to help his math.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary  down
and enrolled him In the local Catholic school. After the first day,
little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't
even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to  his room and started studying.

Books and  papers were spread out all over the room and
little Zachary was hard at  work. His mother was amazed.

 

She called him down to dinner.
To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to
his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the
books as hard as before.

This went on for some time,  day after day, while the
mother tried to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, little Zachary brought  home his report Card. He
quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books..
With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her  great
surprise, Little Zachary got an 'A' in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his
room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?' Little
Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. 'Well, then,' she replied, Was
it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?'

Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the
first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew
they weren't fooling around.'

Have a wonderful day and  God Bless.