JESUS AND THE DEMOCRAT

 JESUS AND THE DEMOCRAT

  (I don't care what party you like, this one's funny!!)

   A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

 The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"

  The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea,
  "My treat."

  The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

  The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.

  As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

  Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of  Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.

The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me ... I'm collecting disability."

Who was our father

3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

 

1.  He called everyone brother.

2. He liked Gospel.

3. He didn't get a fair trial.

 

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was  Jewish:

1. He went into His Father's business.

2. He lived at home until he was 33.

3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

 

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was  Italian:

 

1. He talked with His hands.

2. He had wine with His meals.

3. He used olive oil.

 

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut His hair.

2. He walked around barefoot all the time.

3. He started a new religion.

  

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:

  

1. He was at peace with nature.

2. He ate a lot of fish.

3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

  

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was  Irish:

1. He never got married.

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.

  

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a Woman:

 

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.

3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.

Can I get an AMEN??

Billboard Sign

I saw a billboard sign that said:





 NEED HELP?



CALL JESUS
 1-800-005-3787 

 





Out of curiosity, I did.



A Mexican showed up with a lawn mower.