All girl biker bar

n old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,
Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight
lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.
Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

His and her diarys

HER DIARY...

Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I had been shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. 

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. 

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. 

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caresses and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. 

He fell asleep; 

I cried.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY... Today the Steelers lost, but at least I got laid.

The Sensitive Man

Who Says Men Are not Sensitive

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up
leaving together. They go back to his place, and as he shows her around his
apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet
cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way
along the floor. Cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher. Huge
enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

3 Ducks went into a bar

'Say, what's your name?' the bartender asked the first duck.

'Huey,' was the reply.

'How's your day been, Huey?'

'Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?' said Huey.

3 mice were sitting in a bar

Three mice were sitting in a bar talking about how tough

they were. The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I

play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on

purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and

bench press it twenty or thirty times."  And with that

he slams another shot.


The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing.

I take those Decon tablets, cut them up and snort them

just for the fun of it."  And with that he slams another

shot.


The third mouse slams a shot, gets up and walks away.

The first two mice look at each other, and then turn

to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you

going?"


The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to

f--k the cat."

Progress Bar

What is that in your pocket?

A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking
It, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer.
After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again

And asks for another beer.

This happens about another seven times before the bartender
Asks him, "Why do you keep looking in your pocket?"
The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in there.
When she looks good enough, I'll go home."