3 little pigs

3 little pigs, short, funny, from a six year old.

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is.

They think so logically.

 

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home

Smart Johnny

Smart Johnny

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.


On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.

BIBLE THROUGH THE EYES OF CHILDREN

 A  Nun Grading Papers
 
  Can you imagine the nun sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR   CORRECTED.  INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

Definitely

Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue"

Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."

Lifesavers

(LIFESAVERS)
The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red.....Cherry
Yellow................Lemon
Green.............Lime
Orange ...............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

SMART ASS ANSWER

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
 
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 
'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.. 
'What are my choices?' John asked. 
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
 
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. 
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

Leaving early

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "Tiger Woods. CAN I GO NOW?"

Little Johnny's at it again

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
   
  Molly put up her hand and said, ' My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep It was fascinating.'
   
  The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.
   
  Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

  Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

  She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.

  Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.' 

  The teacher sat down and cried.

KidsAreQuick

KidsAreQuick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. 
MARIA:Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? 
CLASS: Maria. 
______________________________ ______

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. 
_______________________________________ ___

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' 
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L' 
TEACHER: No, that's wrong 
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
_____________________ _______________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? 
DONALD: H I J K L M N O. 
TEACHER: What are you talking about? 
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. 
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that wedidn't have ten years ago. 
WINNIE: Me! 
_____________________ _____________________ 

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? 
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. 
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' 
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie...... Always say, 'I am.' 
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. 
_____________________ _________________ 

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? 
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 
_____________________ _________ 

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? 
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. 
_____________________ ______________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher