Rednecks again?

To my readers, I have seen some of these before but not all. A shout out goes to Eric for sending me these;  Thanks, Mondays Child  Redneck Yard Swing

A Redneck passed away and left his entireEstate to his beloved widow . . . But she can't touch it 'till she's 14. 

Redneck ice chest

How do you know when you're staying in a Redneck motel?When you call the front desk and say, " I gotta leak in my sink, and the clerk replies ....."Go ahead." 

Redneck Cellar

Redneck Garden

 

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age for Rednecks to 32 !  It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools. 

Redneck Limo

Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder:

              1) The DNA is all the same 

             2) There are no dental records

Redneck Mailbox

Who invented the toothbrush? A Redneck!! (If it had been invented by anyone else, it would have been a teeth brush) 

Redneck Weenie Roast 

A new Redneck law was just recently passedWhen a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.

Redneck Wheelchair

Did you hear that the Redneck Governor's Mansion burned down?'Yep.. Prit'near took out the whole trailer park.. The library was a total loss too. Both books went poof . . . Up in flames and the Governor hadn't even finished coloring one of them.'

A Redneck Thanksgiving

(if Norman Rockwell were a Redneck)

A State Trooper pulls over a pickup on Highway 16 And says to the driver, 'Got any I.D. ? ' . .And the driver replies 'Bout wut?'

A Redneck Christmas Sleigh...

That's all folks!

Pet Fish

 This is one of the funniest I have heard in a long time, or perhaps I really needed the laugh. Either way i think you will enjoy!

Allison

Pet Fish


A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin ' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, ' Do you have a license to catch those fish? '

' Naw, sir ' , replied the redneck. ' I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish. '

' Pet fish? '

' Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let ' em swim ' round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take ' em home. '

' That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that. '

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, ' It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works. '

' O. K.. ' , said the warden. ' I've got to see this! '

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the warden says, ' Well? '

' Well, what? ' , says the redneck.

The warden says, ' When are you going to call them back? '

' Call who back? '

' The FISH ' , replied the warden!

' What fish? ' , replied the redneck.


Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

Bonafide Rednecks

A Tennessee couple -- Dave and Rebecca Kosmitis both bonifide rednecks, had 9 children.
They went to the  doctor to see about getting Dave 'fixed.'
The doctor gladly  started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make  the decision.
Why, after 9  children, would they choose to do this?

Dave replied that they had read in a recent article that 1 out of every 10 children
being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having
a Mexican Baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

 

A REDNECK LOVE POEM

A REDNECK LOVE POEM

SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.

PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL.
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS ,
HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.'

YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YO' MOTHER.
BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'
I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY.
MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE;
YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.
          ***************************
(Kinda brings a tear to yer eye, don't it?)

Redneck Motel

How do you know when you're staying
in a Redneck motel?
When you call the front desk and say,
I gotta leak in my sink, and the
clerk replies, 'Go ahead'.



Did you hear that they have raised the minimum
drinking age for Rednecks to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol
out of the high schools.


Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder:
1) The DNA is all the same
2) There are no dental records