Hairdryer

Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs


A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside
her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?'' Of course, child. What may I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's
birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid
they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs
for me? Under your robes perhaps?

''I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.


The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.' The
official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to
declare from your waist to the floor?' 'I have a marvelous instrument
designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'

AN ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION

AN  ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?' 

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation' >

Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may
as well tell me now.  Was it Maria Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her..'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My 2 lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an
altar boy for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and
whispers, 'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

A Father of Many

  
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and
Noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he
Wore   his collar backwards. 

The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.' 

The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.' 

The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of
Many.' 


The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he
Doesn't wear his collar that way!' 

The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and
Went back to reading his book. 

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and
Said, 'Maybe you should wear a condom and put your pants on backwards
Instead of your collar.'