Another Penis out the window

A man and a woman were driving down the road,
 arguing about his infidelity when suddenly the woman reached
 over and cut the man's penis off and tossed it out the
 window.



 Driving behind the couple was a man and his
 8-year-old daughter. The girl was chatting away to her
 father when all of a sudden the penis splattered into their
 car windshield, stuck for a moment, then disappeared over
 the roof.



 Surprised, the daughter asked her father,
 'Daddy, what was that?' < br> > >


Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl
 to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied,
 'It.... it was only a bug, Honey.'



The daughter sat with a confused look on her face,
 and after a moment said.................



 'Had a big dick, didn't it?'

In a Pickle

Bill worked in a pickle factory.  
He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day
to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.  
He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.  
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.  He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.

'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'

'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.

'Yes, I did.' he replied.

'My God, Bill, what happened?'

'I got fired.'

'No, Bill.  I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'

'Oh...she got fired too..'

Greeting Earthlings

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien
addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to
your leader."
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you."
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his
ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, "You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad."
"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near
killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend
and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic
travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear."