HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the
 seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, ...formerly
 known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
Mexifornia's third language

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by
Lichtenstein.  No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be
imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned
all smoking..

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89
and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only..

85-year $75.8 billion study concludes: Diet and exercise is the key
to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third
consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast
 shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth
 shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every  Middle and High School in
United States

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWAR even though gas is
selling for 4,532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only
open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

 Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their
civil rights.


Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven
inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers,

fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be
registered by January 2030. 

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. 

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you
 want; then, guess what...NOTHING will happen. No miracles,
 no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone
 smile or be very very scared.

I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares
 Me!