The Vicar

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.    There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

 

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Melbourne , stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!' 

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds. 

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, ¡If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!'   More sighs and loud applause. 

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 

'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'   There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 

 

'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?' 

 

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking

His head from side to side, while his wife replies: 

'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Fuck him'.