It's hard getting old

It's hard getting old 

 OLD people have problems that you haven't 

 even considered yet!  

 An 80-year-old man was requested by his  

 Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. 

 The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a 

semen sample  tomorrow.'  

The next day the 80-year-old man reappeared  at the doctor's office and gave 

him the jar,  which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.  

 The doctor asked what happened and the man  explained, 'Well, doc, it's
 like 

this -- first I tried  with my right hand, but nothing.  Then I tried  with my 

left hand, but still nothing.  

 'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with  her right hand, then with her 

left, still nothing.  She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then 

with her teeth out, still nothing.  

 'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door,  and she tried too, first with 

both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, 

but still nothing.....' 

 The doctor was shocked! 

 'You asked your neighbor?'    

 The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get  the jar open.'