GOLF STORY

A husband takes his wife to play her first round of golf.

The wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.  

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." 


So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

The Ostrich in the restaurant

       

The Ostrich

 A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. 

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to

the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.  "That will

be $9.40 please."  The man reaches into his pocket and

pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man

says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

 

 The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

 Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

 This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?"

asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and

a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and

places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.  "Excuse me, 

sir.  How do you manage to always come up with the exact change

in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says  the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and

found an old lamp.  When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered

me two wishes.   My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,

I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money

 would always be there."

"That's  brilliant!" says the waitress.  "Most  people would ask for a

 million dollars or something, but you'll  always be as rich as you want

for as long as you live!"

"That's right.  Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact

money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick

with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."