AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS. SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VENS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
 
5. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.  IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

6. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

The Man Rules

The Man RULES­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

(AT Last a guy has taken the time

to write this all down!)   

 

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good..)

We always hear

" the rules"
From the female side. 

 

Now here are the rules from the male side.    

 

These are our rules!
Please note...

these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!  

 

 

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl.

If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining

about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports

It's like the full moon or

the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to

think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1.. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become

Null and void after 7 Days.


1.. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,

just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,

like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,

but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf..

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know,

I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

 

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -  

to give them a bigger laugh.