NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and DoDo for
Brains.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John
will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of
them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want
change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.
MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom:
toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a
towel.
· The average number of items in the typical
woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more
than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he
gets a wife.
SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a
man.
MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water
the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the
mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and
funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best
friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people
living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
Keep on Dancing
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and DoDo for
Brains.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John
will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of
them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want
change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.
MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom:
toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a
towel.
· The average number of items in the typical
woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more
than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he
gets a wife.
SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a
man.
MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water
the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the
mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and
funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best
friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people
living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
Keep on Dancing
No comments:
Post a Comment
I would just love to hear whatcha think? good or bad. And as usual if you have a joke or something funny you would like me to post here I would love to do so. Just let me know if you would like me to link back to you or if I can use your name. All links are welcomed.