Four Moms in therapy

Four Moms in therapy

     A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

     "You all have obsessions," he observed.

     To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

     He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

     He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

     At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner."

NICKNAMES

NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and DoDo for
Brains.

EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John
will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of
them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want
change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.

MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom:
toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a
towel.
· The average number of items in the typical
woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more
than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he
gets a wife.

SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a
man.

MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water
the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the
mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and
funerals.

NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best
friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people
living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!




Keep on Dancing

 

My public service announcement for the day

Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt crack? 

If not, you're wondering now.   Have a nice day ..

So folks, always remember to wash your hands after handling money!


That's my public service announcement for the day. Thank you very much!