Friendship ~ None of that Sissy Shit

 Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cute little smiley faces on this ~Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1.  When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2.  When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3.  When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4.  When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

5.  When you are worried ~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6.  When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.

7.  When you are sick ~Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8.  When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.

9.  This is my oath ... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask ~ because you are my friend.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.